Specs and Friends

“We both hated you at the time so we didn’t really see what was so wrong with shagging and b**ching about you after.”


University for me was never really my cup of tea, but as is the custom, I went diligently in an effort to find my path to greatness.

During my journey there, I met a guy who wore specs, was shorter then me, dressed mmmmmm lets just leave that alone for today :D, and talked to much for my liking and taste ๐Ÿ˜€ (I know ๐Ÿ˜€ I thought I could be refined and cultured but behold, the bih is here)

Anyway, we met at some school poetry slam, I think, and we chatted here and there for a few months after. During this conversing period, he, on multiple occasions,ย  asked me to be his girlfriend, to which I promptly responded , “We will never work out, let it go.”


Now, let me add, I am the type who will only say something once and if I find that I am repeating myself, I tend to result to actions in an effort get the point across.

These actions may not always be in the other persons favor, but that’s why I warn people about me the first day we meet.


So after months of saying no and getting bored with the constant repetition because he wouldn’t listen, I decided to say yes. Not because he had worn me down and I was starting to see an attraction, but because I thought it better to show him then repeat myself one more time.

We dated for three months if I remember correctly.

He, unfortunately for him, was nowhere near my type or speed so I didn’t give him what people in relationships give each other, you know, time, patience bla bla bla and am sure if you asked him today he would scream from the mountain top that Iย  mistreated’ him .


But I ask you this, if someone says no to you more than once wouldn’t it make senseย  for you to take there word for it and not b**ch about it afterwards because your imagination was not fulfilled? Anywayyyyyy……………..


The months passed and even with all the mistreatment (someone call Maendeleo ya Wanaume ๐Ÿ˜€ ) , he persevered until finally I just told him to be free because he deserved someone who will give him those things I wasn’t interested in giving him.

This of course was taken like a sword through Jon Snows heart (which made me weep for my lost ‘love’ ๐Ÿ˜€ )but obviously with him I moved on just fine. ( ๐Ÿ˜€ I know, I know, but but better the truth than some poppycock again!)


Now it had now been a year or so since the ‘3 month long incident’ that I saw someone I had considered a friend.

We had gone through a hiatus of not speaking and the apologies flew around and the hugging commenced with much excitement when she said, “Babe I have to tell you something…………I slept with specs.”

Being that I didn’t give two fudges about him really I didn’t care but she went, ” You were so right OMMMMMMMGGGGGG he’s so boring! T

he only thing we did was shag and b**ch about you but don’t get mad, it’s not like were speaking at the time and it’s not like you really liked him so it’s not like it was that bad.”

As she chuckled at her ‘awesomeness’ with all the fudging likes, I stared at her.

It was then that I realized that I realized, the universe will give you the same lesson in different versions. Until you master it you’ll get the same BS over and over again for that is the nature of reality.



A Short Story

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Sorry been away, had a move and some stuff to do but am back ๐Ÿ™‚ and more fired up then ever. #TheBihisBack


“Why did you leave me?”


He had been sitting on the dilapidated couch next to the window when I walked into my neighbors house.

As was customary, her place was filled to the brim with people, but today the people all seemed to surround him rather than pay attention to her.

He was dark, had round white eyes that spoke of worlds, and a smile that I was sure had left every girl feeling like they could be his wife. He, was the perfect distraction.

My years in university were then coming to a close, and I was determined to squeeze every last ounce of partying out of it, that is where my neighbor came in.

You see, throughout my years in the institution, I managed to be seen but not to be known. Once I was done with the hard bit, I made the decision to take my neighbor up on her offer to come join her and her friends for a drink.

So the drinks flowed and I mingled with those I saw, never quiet paying him any attention other than to say a quick hello.

More people came and more people left and when midnight struck, I decided to retire to my bed.

As I walked out, he, still sitting on the couch with his friend, glanced my way, and I smiled, leaving him alone with his gaze.

The morning had me being woken up by a knock on my bedroom window as my neighbor called me over for breakfast. She, I would later find out, was very much an ‘in your face’ type of girl but that was something I didn’t quiet mind, at least for that time.

So I rolled out of bed and into my pajamas, wore my sandals and groggily walked over to her house, and their, on the couch, sat Pete.

“Good morning!” he said, flashing his magnanimous smile at me.

“Hey.” I said, sitting on the bed in the living room before he casually asked me to join him on the couch.

We started chatting as the rest of the house woke up to the smell of grease and bacon and as we talked, we got lost in our own sauce.

He shared stories of his travels around the world and his endless amount of friends and moments that only the rich seemed to have, and I took it all in wishing I had traveled more or at least was born into the Knowles family ๐Ÿ˜€ .

Breakfast was had and the drinks began to flow again and our conversation went on into the afternoon.ย It seemed like the best of times then, and it probably was, or rather he probably was.

I retired back to my place later on that evening to shower and have some me time, when he knocked on my door and asked to join me for a while.

He was a mystery, but a mystery I seemed to crave. He had the demeanor of someone so outgoing and it surprised meย  to find out that he too loved the sweetness of not being in the spotlight just like Iย  did.

He told me of the troubles of the rich, of the endless amount of siblings his father seemed to bring, he told me of dark moments I couldn’t believe and of moments that spoke to me. Was it all real, I would ask my inner being as he spoke, or was it all fantasy?

The night went on and it reached that point where I asked him where he would sleep that night and he said, “I don’t sleep……… ghosts haunt my dreams.”

This, instantly melted my heart for it felt like I knew him from more then just our short past, so I invited him to stay and talk, letting his mind go and trusting in our bond.


We had fallen asleep talking, but I had woken up before him, and for a few seconds I watched him sleeping next to me. He was at peace, so fragile like a new born in spring, and I gently released his had from around me and tip toed to the living room to let him catch up on his sleep.

It had only seemed like a few seconds had passed when I had him scream. A scream so shrill I ran back to him.

I found him sitting up on the bed, breathing heavily, sweating and holding his chest when he looked at me with fear was in his eyes and asked, “Why did you leave me?”

His voice broke my heart and I held him in my arms.

He was a gentle soul that I loved, briefly yes, it had been but just a few months, but it taught me that a love so deep and unflawed cannot withstand the hold of a family with so much gold.


” You, you need to check your Facebook asap, I think you’ve been hacked!”


I met Chris in a little estate around the place I used to stay when I was younger.

He, for me, was nothing special, and rumor has it that I was a b**ch back then even though I wasn’t the popular chick who would get all the boys drooling. ๐Ÿ˜€

But still he had tried time and time again to use my sister as an avenue to me but unfortunately for him, this never worked. The years passed and his persistence continued to prevail when finally, I gave in to dating him during the break between high school and getting into university.


It is at this point I feel I must interject to share that when I say date, I am implying that I would still leave my options open.

I mean, I was a cute but weird young kid who penned poetry with fantasies of finding my one true love, but most importantly, I had not agreed to any type of relationship, lets just get that clear.


But coming back to the trigger happy chappie,ย  we did what anyone our age did those days, we went on ‘dates’ by walking around the estates behind the blocks where no one could see or we would go to the near by Pizza-Inn for a slice and Coca-Cola mixed with the devils juice.ย  It was all basic but romantic for the times and it seemed to suit me just fine ๐Ÿ˜€ (I need to see my life)

So this was the case for a few weeks, when one sunny morning, I met this cute Tanzanian chap at my cousins house. It was all magic at first site with the delusions of a stupid child.ย  It was tasty.

He would text or email because he was fancy like that and I would daydream of nonsense and poppycock for days after ๐Ÿ˜€ย Think ofย  La La Land and roses being thrown in the air, that was what it felt like.

So I was now fully emerged in the dating world, as was my intention. Doing my thing, being a cool chick, feeling like I was one of the girls who run the world and sh*t, when exiting a class one afternoon I found missed calls and messages from basically everyone.

Instantly, I thought someone had died ( I was a bit dramatic back then ๐Ÿ˜€ ) so tears were already formingย  when my sisters text came in,ย ” You, you need to check your Facebook asap, I think you’ve been hacked!”

I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly rushed to my account and lo and behold (yap we’re taking the lingua back ๐Ÿ˜€ ) little old Chris had hacked into my sh*t.

There, for the world to see, were posts where he was going ape bananas, talking about betrayal this and why that, describing, very graphically, the things I must be doing to the other chap. It was basically soft porn with a touch of gossip girl mixed into one ๐Ÿ˜€ It was Armageddon in a glance.

Scrolling through the erotic tales, it harshly clicked in my head that all my relatives in the world were on that freaking account and I briefly wondered why he couldn’t have just hacked the secret one.

I hurriedly took to deleting all my accounts trying not to shat my pants when again up pops another message on my screen , ” How does it feel to be betrayed? I loved you, I still do, I forgive you and I still want to be with you….” and I paused, first to thank the lord for giving me the armo I needed to dump his ass but also to mentally note down that I need to upgrade my security and sh*t lest this happens to be again ๐Ÿ˜€


Welcome to a new series inspired by a title I was working on **Men are B**ches* which needed more than just a chapter.

Its all about dating, mating and elevating. I hope you enjoy ๐Ÿ˜€