“You know I had thought If I was going to beat anyone I was sure it would be you!”
It had reached that period in my life where I wanted to make a major change, and being that it was summer, moving was always my go to thing to do.
So I moved to a nice little estate in the burbs, feeling like a million bucks because I was used to the student living lifestyle where security is you and God 😀 and this was when I knew I was headed in somewhat the right direction in my life.
A few days passed and I headed out to the local shop to buy one for the weekend when my next door neighbor emerged.
“Oh hi! My name is Nola, you must be the new neighbor!”
She was a hyped, short haired, older looking lady who talked with her hands and smiled unnecessarily as she leaned in to find out more about me.
Let me just say I am not the type of neighbor who is like come over anytime, how are you, Oh my god bla bla bla nor am I that type of friend either 😀 unless I really love you, so she was already infringing on my space but I digress……
After that perky introduction, she insisted on walking with me to the shop where she then insisted on us going to say hi to her boyfriend who was playing pool at the local.
Reaching the ‘joint’, there he stood, a tall, skinny guy with dreads and an accent I only imagined was available at the corner store in river road :D. This obviously was my cue to leave and I quickly slithered away from their grip and speed walked back to the shops again.
The next evening I decided to do some work as I was sipping and listening to music when someone knocked on my door.
There, in a drunken stupor, stood Nola, and behind her a lad with a silver chain (rolls eyes 😀 ).
She was going on and on about some bih who was trying to hit on her man talking all love and hip hop like and I feeling like I was the therapist trying to make it 😀
So I gently delivered a short session and her agreeing to take my advice, she staggered back to her door while boy wonder over there thought it would be a mighty idea to hit on me, which he met door to face. (Bi**h activated 😀 )
I had barely sat back down when I heard things breaking, a door opening and closing and a girl screaming at the top of her lungs.
It is here that I say, though I may be a bih to my neighbors, on rare occasionsI am touched and because she was younger than, me which was shocking to us both (Thanks mum and dad for the great genes ; D ) I decided to go check out the situation.
Out in the hallway stood a short girl who mmm :D…. any way, stood a short girl cursing at my neighbors door.
She was going off at the fact Nola was drunk, she had broken her phone she only truly wanted chain guy and she was an innocent girl from the kijiji, what was this…bla bla bla …I am happy I never had such moments when I was younger 😀
I decided to difuse the issue by leading her out to the parking lot as I was successfully calming her down but Nola had other plans.
She stormed out and as I turned to stop her, baby girl over there came round me, and no lie, the chick kicked Nola like this was some ninja warrior type of ish!
It as at this point I took a step back because one, am too pretty to fight 😀 and two all I was trying to do that Saturday was sip and work so bye Felicia.
I stood on the pavement as I watched them fall to the ground and tear each other apart as some neighbors who were hanging out at the lot, ran up to stop the fight.
Now these were men in their mid 30s, early 40s trying to break up the fight so I was sure this would all end amicably when one of them bi**h slapped Nola like she was a beef patty being molded into shape. I was shock!
In all this madness, out comes the boyfriend who had blacked out from too much alcohol. He looked as confused as I felt when I ran up to him to tell to handle his woman when I heard another slap.
I looked at him and he didnt move an inch towards her, and as I looked at the older women in the now kinda big crowd watching from balconies, side walks and the like I realized no one cared.
Not a mother, brother, aunty, sister, cousin no one seemed to are that this was someones daughter and I also realized if George could watch his girlfriend being beaten without flinching, he probably did the same damn thing.
But also I learnt something important……….
After a few more slaps, she suddenly she stopped being fussy and in her US accent which I imagined she picked through osmosis from George 😀 , she said, “OMG guys am so sorry, I dont know what happened I……cough…..” and with the devil back in her eyes she looked me dead in the eyes and whispered, “……You know if there was anyone I would have thought I was going to beat up, it would have been this bi**h for talking to my man.”
I learnt that when you see crazy, you leave crazy alone.