I loved the city lights, even when they didn’t shine so bright.
My mama always said I lived for the shiny lights
even as a child
my eyes shone so bright
I would often watch her as she swayed
painting her lips red as she prayed
eyes up yet shut to the men who played
yes played her game
so she could get her sweet way
I loved the night life that was always awake, awake with the secrets of those who lived in the grey.
Yes, I would watch mama as she swayed
to later on find my on play
Set the scene in the old grey
I found my first prey, yes prey
at the tender ripe age a lady should never say
You see, he was a john
who was unlike the norm
he had the mighty throne
that was all of his own
and as the night turned to grey
I found my subconscious give way
And there in the abiss I heard mama pray
“My sweet Shoshana who is bright as day,
I hope you never have to paint your face,”
You know what I hate most, that moment you decide you are happy single and the universe is like ‘Aha, lets fudge with this b**ch now!’
For a long time, I had put the notion of love, companionship, the romp in the sack, in a box and buried it in the forest where I would one day go to spend the rest of my days with my dog and a chicken I would call Jimmy 😀
I was ready to put my flower out of commission and live the nun like life that would be quiet and contained. To some extent, I think I even craved it with the same intensity I once did with love.
Then the universe decided otherwise.
If we are gonna be GREAT let it be GLORIOUS!
“My little chirping bird, why are you here?” I begged of Mata as her red lips trembled and her hands reached out to a past memory.
For as long as the years had passed, time seemed not to have touched Mata’s delicate frame. Her white face still glistened with the innocence of youth and her doe eyes were still ripe with the curiosity of life that had led Mother to call her that.
My little chirping bird.
Yes, years had passed since our first encounter at the orphanage, but even so, our familiarity was still as fresh as the snow beneath our feet.
“General please, you must listen to me.”
“Anna was the leak. She had orchestrated the entire plan from the start.”
She would talk to me for hours on end about her dreams and I would regale her with tales about a life I couldn’t quiet now see.
As children we were inseparable yes, but the war came and with that, we found, it exposed the true nature of humans all around.
“..she had grown bored of the american life you see, and was often calling home anxious for our forgiveness, anxious for our love just like Mother said she would be.”
The war came and with that our path took separate lanes.
I never really knew what led to our separation but after the war ended and they heard I was to wed the enemy, everything changed.
“What is all this Anna? Who is this woman? What is she saying” Harry asked hurridely as my eyes focused on Mata as she inched closer and closer towards me.
We had spoken on the phone, yes, every now and then, yes, but never did I get the feeling that we were at odds, never.
My little chirping bird.
“You left us Anna….”
“….you left your family for a country that choose to kill your own blood, didn’t you my little krysa……
…. and now before your death, I shall relish the look in your eyes as that happiness fades away, just as mine did when Mother laid in my arms dying. She told me you know…That it was you all along. It was you who had given up our location.”
“Mata what are you talking ….”
“Shhhh my little krysa, shhh. As Mother would say ‘ kill the krysa before it multiples & destroys everything’ I have done my duty and now your bastard child will grow up an orphan just as you did. She’ll feel the…..”
The soldiers positioned themselves and took their shots.
First at the fair, red lipped lady that stood next to Anna, then at her and Harry, both of them dropping to the cold ground that would soon house their remains.
“General, sir, you’re wounded let me take a look at that.”
I later came to find out that their was no plot against us but there was one being hatched against the beautiful Anna Anton by the striking Mata Shashenka in honor of Mother, one of the most influential leaders of the sleeper cell organization, JPG.
As they say, “Once a rat, always a rat.”
As the rain began to pour and Harry contemplated what the general had said, he looked back at his wife and daughter sitting in the car behind him and slowly he began to weep.
He had met the beautiful Anna close to two years ago in Russia right before the war ended. There love, I believed, was one that would have been ordinary if not for the situation at hand. What was that situation at hand you ask?
Well to put it bluntly, she worked for the enemy and he made a living killing them.
“Bloody hell Harry, did you hear what i just said…. You have to kill her now Harry, it’s the only way your daughter won’t end up an orphan.”
A couple of months after their encounter in the field, the war ended and they got married in a little town outside Saint Petersburg and just like the movies, their little marisol arrived.
Yes, the war was over but the paranoia had never left.
While love bloomed, word had gotten out that a few of the Russian sleeper agents in America had been activated and the truce that had been was just but a ploy for an attack that would come in the following months. And as the dice rolled all eyes landed on Anna as intel confirmed she was one of the activated.
“Snap out of it Harry! Do it now before they get here.”
Harry rushed to his car, took out Anna and pointed the gun at her face and right before he pulled the trigger, just as Anna mouthed that she loved him always I knew I couldn’t remain hidden anymore.
“STOP! For Christs sake stop all of this!.”
“Anna my darling will you ever forgive me?” I implored of her “I know it’s been years and to meet you under such circumstances…I …you…Anna will you forgive me?