Black Panther

I tried not to talk about this movie but i’m a b**ch so here we go… and yes, I waited for it to be released online because I don’t go to watch over hyped movies made for the zombie community.

Anyway…..

I sat down with much anticipation to finally watch what most claimed to be the movie of the year. So I grabbed my popcorn and what not, and hit play.

10 seconds in…

Realization: Oh tis a South African ting (this of course came from the accents of the characters.)

Now this could be just me, but I am not really a fan of black Americans trying to act African especially when the only ‘African’ they seem to know is South Africa, but I digress and believe I covered this in a previous rumbling 😀

10 minutes or so in…..

I am not trying to be a a flipping b**ch here and I understand the need for Hollywood to have it’s African ‘it girl’ and she is doing her thing, making her money and I shouldn’t hate because they are trying to be diverse, but can I just be honest, I have only watched Ms. Nyong’o on the silver screen twice. In the movie 12 yrs and now BP and, I don’t know.

To me shes gotten a lot of recognition for simply saying not more than two words on the big screen. Do you notice the lens normally just hits her for a second or two and she gets a line or two here and there?

I think Hollywood is really getting their moneys worth when it comes to her because she has brought in the ‘Afican Zombie’ community but again I haven’t really seen her full body of work so what do I know 😀 we all have our fav actors and actresses, so do you girl and don’t mind my rumblings.

BTW that scene where the daughter gives the middle finger to the brother LOL If you know anything about African parents, a child would rather eat crow then do that even when they know their parent won’t directly see it because the whooping that would follow wouldn’t have make it worth it.

20 minutes or so in…..

I loved Micheal B Jordan in the 2 minutes I saw him.

I think this was because he was the only actor who wasn’t doing the ‘African accent’ or  maybe because he was simply just a black american acting as a black american would (stereotypes are a b**ch ee).

I can get why this movie may have been a hit with black Americans everywhere when most of them haven’t really come to Africa.

Don’t get me wrong, we got love for you, but come on, for most of you, Africa is a wall hanging you have with tales off flies on malnourished starving people that you may or may never get to check.

So I ask: Would it have been better to cast African actors and actresses to make it more authentic?

I mean, we have a plethora of them already working on their craft here in Africa and if the Black American community is so into Africa, if they are all about the motherland, why couldn’t they instead push to support Africa and do the whole thing in its home base?

Ama is all that ‘WOKE’ nonsense and Dashiki wearing , I am a king, just for show? 😀

*I will note though, they did shoot some scenes in Wakanda opps I mean Uganda, Zambia and what seems to be, to most outsiders, the whole of Africa, South Africa. But before you get excited, note, these were just aerial shots…. 😀 no comment

Also Ms. Nyong’o, my love, you are from Kenya, I believe you lived here long enough, when you saw the Maasai tribe doing its thing, couldn’t you at least ask them to get the accent right for that part? Maybe even plug in someone who had the look right?Or maybe phone a Maasai friend who could showcase the accent and look right for them 😀 (B**ch mode activated)

…….and again kwani the Maasais, Kalenjins, and Nigerians are the only people Europeans know to exist in the rest Africa aside from Ms. Nyongo, Trevor Noah, and Obama? (I say the rest of Africa because SA doesn’t seem to float with our boat)

Days like this make me thing that some of these reality stars that spew dumb caca about Africa may be how a majority of y’all see us? But again I digress 😀

Then we have what I am guessing was the Nigerian tribe, LOL!  (Here I am talking about the guy that challenged the black american, opps I mean the future king of Uganda, damnit, I meant Wakanda 😀 ( creativity isn’t my forte so I digress) )

The only thing that guy got right was the Nigerian O, everything else just looked like it was a Halloween dress up party and a black American was tryna get hype! He didn’t even look like he ever entered the motherland or knew what the shaggz lifestyle was like.

(BTW with all the reports of Nigerians conning y’all I would think their accent would have been the easiest to get, anyway …..)

Suggestion: How about when you try pull off African characters you come stay with the people you are trying to be like? And for crying out loud Europeans we are more than just SA and mediocre characters, just saying.

30 minutes in…..

At this point I switched to a documentary on food cause I prefer that to trying to make sense of it all.

For me I don’t know.

Unlike most people who wore their one dashiki outfit to go watch this movie, all I saw was Hollywood grabbing at the whole we ‘Woke’ black zombie community that seems to be proudly African but only from a far.

*Side note: If you are just getting into this ‘WOKE’ maneno you are a bit late my friend for people who are actually on that tip, who have lived on that tip, look at the newbies like a passing fad for when the next hype thing comes about they are sure you will forget all about being ‘woke’. (But I don’t speak for everybody 😀 )

Could I have done it better since I’m b**ching about LOL, I don’t know, maybe I could maybe I could’t, but then again I only watched the thing for 30 minutes & maybe I would have preferred it if they just kept their accents and stopped trying to make us all South African 😀 (okay okay B**ch mode deactivated)

All in all there are alot of ifs and maybes so I’ll try again soon over some wine and a snack and maybe then it will make more sense to my blues.

And anyway they made billions so what do I know:D

 

PS: ………….with all the music Kendrick Lamar made  you guys couldn’t plug it into your black american movie? It may have been more authentic then a bunch of drums and what not (because that’s all we are known for as a culture) or even better yet, with all the amazing African music, past and some present,  you couldn’t pick something of maana to elevate your scenes? hehe I’m done!

 

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A Street Car Named Shoshana

I loved the city lights, even when they didn’t shine so bright.

My mama always said I lived for the shiny lights

even as a child

my eyes shone so bright

…………………..

 I would often watch her as she swayed

painting her lips red as she prayed

eyes up yet shut to the men who played

yes played her game

so she could get her sweet way

……………………………..

I loved the night life that was always awake, awake with the secrets of those who lived in the grey.

Yes, I  would watch mama as she swayed

to later on find my on play

Set the scene in the old grey

I found my first prey,  yes prey

at the tender ripe age a lady should never say

…………………….

You see, he was a john

who was unlike the norm

he had the mighty throne

that was all of his own

and as the night turned to grey

I found my subconscious give way

And there in the abiss I heard mama pray

“My sweet Shoshana who is bright as day,

I hope you never have to paint your face,”

 

 

They Call Me :Meadow

Winter seemed to have come and stayed, and I was simply its prey.

I traveled the lonely road, often finding solace in the old. You see my sweet song, as the night would fall, and my eyes would close, I drifted off.

Drifted into a slumber filled with the warmth of summer. Of the sun on my skin, his hands around me and the vague taste of cigarettes on his lips. I drifted to a time when I felt complete.

I was unusual as a child you see. Grew up with the devil between my thighs and a mama who feared for my life. As she would pray over my flesh each day and night, all I saw was the sweet freedom of the open road that called with each sigh.

So the years passed and I finally found sweet home on the road at last. Yes, my sweet song, sweet home that always seemed not to last long. But even as the liquor seduced me and their freedom carried me, I couldn’t help but pray for my sins just like mama had made me.

You see, winter seemed to have come and my lips seemed to miss his sweet tongue and even as I laid their bare, letting the night air carry me there, still I prayed to thee,

“Father forgive me you see, I know you approve not of these thoughts inside me, but I must be, yes be with this sweet release, as I wait for his sweet summer to come and carry me.”

 

Ego is a B**CH

e·go
ˈēɡō/
noun
  1. a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.
    “a boost to my ego”
    synonyms: self-esteem, self-importance, self-worth, self-respect, self-image, self-confidence

    “the defeat was a bruise to his ego”
    • PSYCHOANALYSIS
      the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.
    • PHILOSOPHY
      (in metaphysics) a conscious thinking subject.

I read an interesting thought yesterday that went something like, animals are devoid of ego, which in turn means they do not think about their inadequacies: they feel everything intensely & that determines their action”

That, in my imaginative state, took my mind to so many places. From my interactions with the human race, one could say that a lot of people could use several seats : D ( * B**CH mode activated) .

Why couldn’t we, in some ways, adapt this animalistic nature to how we dealt with each other?

As my mind flew away, I thought about the years that have passed and how much I have grown and the things I have learnt.

In some ways, one could say, most of the intense emotions individuals displayed, were that of anger. While when it came to more demure emotions like love, one would find that people rarely, if ever freely, displayed it.

For a long time we live like this and later on find, that maybe the things that we lack when growing up or the circumstances that alter our subconscious, later on turn into the ego trigger that we have when we are a bit older.

I, for example, was proud of the fact that I had an ego the size of a planet when I was younger. I confess that now, maybe, its still there, but one could say, it has shrunk, just a little bit, in size 😀 (see, ego!).

Ego: The Protector

Ego, for me, made people respect me and to some extent it still does when the bear has been poked one too many times.

Ego was there for me when I needed to dismiss the popcockery of someone putting me in a box and it helped me attack those that I felt were a threat to me or those I loved.

In a sense it was my shield against a world that I didn’t really fit into.

Ego, I find, helps us get in control of the ‘inadequacies’ the world has fed us.

There are, of course, other ways ego can pop up for people:

  • The Defender : Always having to be right; one who is  guilty of dichotomous thinking
  •  The Controller : The need to be in control to ensure your safety; emotional discomfort is a sign you are out of alignment
  • The Shield-er : Anything that threatens ones self concept must be shut down; Has a hard time taking a joke

 

There are many forms with which your ego, or those of others, manifests itself. Can you pinpoint some?

 

Ego: Using The Voices To Your Benefit

If seen from a different perspective, I believe ego can help us, if we choose to nurture it rather than extinguish it.

If, for example, I didn’t have my ‘b**tch mode activate” switch 😀 I would be stuck in a place I know I wouldn’t want to be.

If we used, for example emotional intelligence to see our own inadequacies, we could use ego in ways that are more appropriate and gentle in nature.

Fact, emotional Intelligence helps with:

  • Self awareness
  • Self regulation
  • Motivation
  • Empathy
  • Social Skills

Therefore if we used EQ and tamed our ego by better understanding the intricate workings of our own subconscious, if we connected to the God within and accepted the demons that live, I believe ego would no longer be a b**ch threat but rather that b**chy friend over there that you can’t live without 😀 .

…….but then again what do I know with all the ifs I could just be day dreaming 😀

………………………………….

*Thoughts expressed here are just that, thoughts. Please feel free to share yours, lets chat :)*

Fear is B**CH

You know what I hate most, that moment you decide you are happy single and the universe is like ‘Aha, lets fudge with this b**ch now!’

For a long time, I had put the notion of love, companionship, the romp in the sack, in a box and buried it in the forest where I would one day go to spend the rest of my days with my dog and a chicken I would call Jimmy 😀

I was ready to put my flower out of commission and live the nun like life that would be quiet and contained. To some extent, I think I even craved it with the same intensity I once did with love.

Then the universe decided otherwise.

Fear.

1a an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger
(1) an instance of this emotion 
(2) a state marked by this emotion
2anxious concern solicitude
3profound reverence and awe especially toward God
4reason for alarm danger
I find when you get too comfortable with life, fear kicks in.
It could be a fear that pops up to stop you from pursing your dreams because you have a family or it could be the fear that you won’t be the writer you were meant to be.
Fear.
It could be that nagging feeling telling you something is amiss or a voice telling you they are all the same just keep it pushing.
Fear can be a fickle b**ch, but a b**ch I seem to fudge with.
I had played her sweet game many a time but unlike before where I saw it as a warning to run in the opposite direction, to settle, I take it now as a sign to jump in without any inhibitions.
So here we are now, me, done with love, and the universe saying ‘no you are not’ and while in friendships it is customary to be kind and let things slide, this time round I am grabbing the b**ch by her imaginary balls and replacing her in that box that lays where I may one day never call home, how about you?