There are ladies than there is me

Females, oh how I observe them wandering the Nairobi streets. All dolled up, freshly cleaned and put together. Then I catch a glimpse of myself as I pass a shop window and I stop in my tracks.

When I was younger I always wanted to be like those women, sophisticated, put together and all that jazz, but at first, I was a tomboy. Mostly cause I was chubby like the sun is round but let’s not go there πŸ˜€

Then, all of a sudden, my tits popped out (far to early for me to care about), I accidentally shat myself to later find out to my dismay that it was the pms monster and that is when it was declared that I was a woman. (*rolls eyes)

One, or rather, I was never prepared to be one of a those you know.. I still wanted to play with the boys, roll around in the mud but when sweet all womanhood shows up and grown ups draw those imaginary lines in your childlike mind, you got to go with the rules that be.

So you grow, you ‘style up’ and you mature into this beautiful woman ripe for the taking…. well that was never me.

I think I stopped ageing at like twenty.

It was like at some point I just said F*** it, I’m going to be forever young (I’d like to take this moment to thank melanin and my parents for such great genes πŸ˜€ ) .

At this point it seemed my internal clock stopped but I was still plagued with this image of what a woman should look and act like.

So I observed what other women (who seemed popular with the opposite sex ) were doing, namely:

  • I straightened my hair
  • Started wearing make up
  • Going to do my nails (though I will be honest, I have only done this two times in my life, I’m thrify AF so [ do my own gad damn nails like a pro and able bodied person)
  • I started frequenting the mating grounds with friends to display the goodies God gave me


I did it all and by the age of 24 I gave up.

I remember I had one particular friend at the time that I would call the black MerIlyn Monroe. She was the quintessential ‘woman’ to me.

She was proper, she was soft spoken, gasped if you said one curse word, she was so put together that I was in awe and tried to emulate her, but you can’t tame a wild animal like I πŸ˜€

Funny enough she had a twin who was the complete opposite of her but her twin was still more put together then I ever was. Now that’s life, eh!

So when the good o gal, 24, rolled around, I removed myself from the hold of society and recoiled into me. This was done in an effort to truly find out who I was without the assumptions, judgments, like & dislikes of others, and what I found …….still confuses me πŸ˜€

I am put together but not in the sense of ‘I have my life all planned out’ I still leave that to God/Ra/She/Universe. I mean, I am not married let alone in a relationship, I do not dress all prim and proper and matter of fact I am known to have that ‘homeless’ (hippie) look with a hint ofΒ  ‘child-like’ tendencies. My hair rarely sees a comb let alone a straightener and goes from long to short in a span of minutes.

I am rough around the edges, Lord knows I am.

For example, unlike ladies who would excuse themselves to go fart in a far away land far from their mate or be all shocked when a guy farts in front of them, I see it as a challenge to see who has the best farts in town πŸ˜€

When the man releases his fart (which i seem to find is a thing guys feel very comfortable doing in front of me; even giving it to me as a present :D) I prepare my ass and release mine as well and we laugh and laugh about it then after a few months, I am single and they are dating Americas next top model πŸ˜€ but I digress πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

I do not hold my tongue for I don’t see why we cannot all be honest, I do not let things slide, I do not let the man have control over me (But this can be discussed in the right situations πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€ Please don’t judge me).

I speak my mind, I speak my truth but most of all I expect the same from man himself.

I am very many things as you can see but this is not Tinder so I don’t need to list them all down so you swipe right for me πŸ˜€

All I’m saying is that as I walk down the street and I catch a glimpse of me, I stop, smile and remember how banging of a b**ch I am cause there is them, and there is ME!



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