Falling in & out

Is it possible to fall in love and out of it at the same time?

I only ask because i think am losing my mind but i think am okay with it. To have love for myself would be too much of a responsibility for me but to watch it manifest in others is something i cherish.

In a span of two years i have fallen in and out of it that i feel i have had my fill for a lifetime. Why?

Well, i found them, those elusive people known as soul mates. I find them in the people i have come in contact with. Be it a fleeting moment that will stick with me to a flatter of months with someone who i held dear, i fell in to each of them with the abandonment of a new born child unaware of anything else but love.

But as i did, as it always happens, i fell out or rather i was pushed put with such lack of care the bruises bring out my beauty with each scar and each piece of my heart they shred away. I fell out of it with no regrets.

Yes my world felt like it could no longer survive and yes i felt that i should no longer give flight to such desires but there i was again falling in with the purest of intentions in the end having the cycle repeat itself for the last time.

With that final embrace, that final play with love, i silently bid it adieu, not because i had or have given up on it completely, no. But because I wish not to be a part of it anymore in terms of companionship on all levels.

I would rather witness it in all its forms like a woman watching lovers in Rome, i would like to witness it in all its forms through other people of course. I no longer feel that desire for love and in essence i do not have the desire for people. Sad, maybe to some but to me i find it peaceful.

I am in love but at the same moment i am out.

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