I am starting this thing where I kinda read the bible for a minute to see if what I read coincides with my spiritual beliefs. Call it a test of some sort so bear with me.
“If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not [speak] the truth”
I had a discussion with a friend not so long ago where they, in a sense, did not want to hear of the negative aspects of my past. To me, this was down right rude.
This is why.
For a long time I believed that if you were to connect with someone, be it a friend or a lover, you should do so wholeheartedly. By doing this you show that you trust them with the most vulnerable parts of your being, as well as let them in to see the things that shaped you into who you are now.
For a long time I was of this belief.
So after that discussion where I was offended that they refused or preferred not to hear of those things, you could say in a sense a wall was erected by the subconscious. As humans, it’s only normal to have a defense up, even subconsciously.
So imagine my surprise as I begin my ‘bible study’ to find that: Hey, maybe they weren’t wrong in their feeling after all.
Being more spiritually inclined rather then religiously, I like to say that I dwell in the light having given up my darkness (past) to live in the present, where peace, joy, and love dwell. But still, when trying to connect with someone, I still manifested the darkness in the present.
So I ask myself: If I had truly forgiven, let it go, moved on and so forth wouldn’t I then not need that to paint a picture of who I am now?
If I truly am in fellowship with the universe/ him/ she/ the entity that is, then wouldn’t only my present me, my light, that which is good be what should infinitely define me if I truly have let go of that which isn’t a part of me?
Wouldn’t we all be able to wake up in the morning without any form of negative feelings just a joy (light) for the day and a happy fascination with every human we meet and every job we tackle even though we have been in the same situation time.
It feels like then to live truly and freely, you don’t need to bring up the negative or witness such things that are of that nature. By doing, by rebooting and truly letting go, we then give ourselves the opportunity to live free of judgments, past thoughts, opinions, memories, basically we hmmmm I know what I want to say but I just don’t know how to say it.
Maybe this language isn’t enough or maybe i’m just daydreaming.
I don’t know but it’s been an interesting thought.
**Additional thought: do you think by saying to live in the light and not the darkness it means to stop living in our thoughts/ mind (darkness/ that which can’t be see) and rather live in the light / the present/ that which we see and can touch can feel because the first verse of that chapter says “that which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our own eyes, which we have looked upon and our hands have handled, of the word of life” is that what it all means? hmmmm**
To be continued….